For those who have been with me over the last 6 months of the year 2007 knew a small percentage of the shit I was going through. And as much as each of my best friends thought they knew what was going on, that was a minute part of it.
So when I went back home in December I cried.
Tears of happiness
Tears of sadness
The emotions that flooded me when I landed at the Indira Gandhi domestic airport, just left me as a blubbering mess but you know what I dint care what the other passengers thought of me. I was HOME!!
(Although my flight was four hours delayed and it took an hour 15 minutes to get my luggage – that’s what you get for traveling on Air Deccan)
Unconditional love: so good to be with people who love me, people who would do any thing for me, who with one look know how I am doing. To those even with the simplest caring tap on the shoulder show me they care.
To being with your own flesh and blood. Who no matter how you mess up will always be with you. My appreciation for my family grows day by day. I love you guys!!
P Diddy, Papa Romero, Blondie and Intellectual Goddess. The 4 people I am blessed enough to call as friends.
To my little brother, I love you so much and in the past one year you have changed so much, yet are still the same 7 year old I meet 12 years ago. It was so good hanging out with you.
Yes, I am extremely sentimental and highly emotional.
Friday, February 01, 2008
Monday, January 28, 2008
Hello?
Shreez: Good morning, KIS Community Office
H: Woah!
S: Hello ?
H: Shreez?
S: Yes, who is this?
H: Its H… uumm what’s with the voice?
S: Huh, what voice?
H: You just did this whole, sexy husky hello on the phone?
That’s pretty much the conversation. I have had my friends tease me about it. But that was my boss! And obviously it spread so now I have every one teasing me about my ‘sexy’ hello. You know just remembered that once some guy actually said I sounded like one of those girls on a girls gone wild hotline.
I really don’t know what the deal is. It’s not like I am trying to do any husky voice, nor do I have a cold. And honestly when I hear my voice recorded I think it sounds horrible and annoying. Very childlike. Yet people seem to disagree. Well it’s a compliment and who cares if my co workers tease me about my sultry voice.
Till next time
Good bye dhaarling!
H: Woah!
S: Hello ?
H: Shreez?
S: Yes, who is this?
H: Its H… uumm what’s with the voice?
S: Huh, what voice?
H: You just did this whole, sexy husky hello on the phone?
That’s pretty much the conversation. I have had my friends tease me about it. But that was my boss! And obviously it spread so now I have every one teasing me about my ‘sexy’ hello. You know just remembered that once some guy actually said I sounded like one of those girls on a girls gone wild hotline.
I really don’t know what the deal is. It’s not like I am trying to do any husky voice, nor do I have a cold. And honestly when I hear my voice recorded I think it sounds horrible and annoying. Very childlike. Yet people seem to disagree. Well it’s a compliment and who cares if my co workers tease me about my sultry voice.
Till next time
Good bye dhaarling!
Catharsis
I write this, not just as a post, but more as a personal catharsis. This form of writing is very different for me and may be by splitting up what I am going through makes accepting it a little easier. It’s not my best work, but it’s a release for me. It was written some time back, so dont think I am out of sync right now!
Does the heart rule the mind? Or does the mind rule the heart?
Mind
The heart convinced me (the mind) that the relationship was worth it. That no matter how many clues stood right in front of me I choose to ignore them. Until I had had enough and told the heart in pretty simple terms to bugger off.
But the heart once in a while gets center stage and floods me with emotions; making me ponder on the past that was never meant to be the future.
I decided that today I would be the controlling figure.
Taking center stage I announce to the rest of the body “Listen up and listen good! The feelings are some thing of the past; they no longer play a part in today’s situation. That is the stand we are taking and every one will help in projecting that.
Feet: you shall no longer walk for miles just to make sure he gets some thing to put a smile on his face
Arms: you shall no longer be there to hold his tired body
Eyes: you shall no longer scan his face to make sure he is ok
We will not watch him walk away.
We will not let even the slightest touch have any physiological effect on us
Are we clear?”
Heart
“I can’t deal with it. I can’t be expected to just shut down and ignore him. I am expected to look right through him. Always living on others expectations. I don’t think I can do this any more. I crushed what ever I felt, what ever I had so that he would not be hurt. But there is only that much you can crush down. And now he is with some one and I should be happy, but I am sad, not that he not with me, but the fact that he cannot look into my face. He can’t even bare being alone with me. We don’t talk and now even the simple hello is so strained!”
Body
“The emptiness is enveloping me. I feel hollow; this vacuum has been created within. Breathing is difficult and controlling the tears even more.”
Does the heart rule the mind? Or does the mind rule the heart?
Mind
The heart convinced me (the mind) that the relationship was worth it. That no matter how many clues stood right in front of me I choose to ignore them. Until I had had enough and told the heart in pretty simple terms to bugger off.
But the heart once in a while gets center stage and floods me with emotions; making me ponder on the past that was never meant to be the future.
I decided that today I would be the controlling figure.
Taking center stage I announce to the rest of the body “Listen up and listen good! The feelings are some thing of the past; they no longer play a part in today’s situation. That is the stand we are taking and every one will help in projecting that.
Feet: you shall no longer walk for miles just to make sure he gets some thing to put a smile on his face
Arms: you shall no longer be there to hold his tired body
Eyes: you shall no longer scan his face to make sure he is ok
We will not watch him walk away.
We will not let even the slightest touch have any physiological effect on us
Are we clear?”
Heart
“I can’t deal with it. I can’t be expected to just shut down and ignore him. I am expected to look right through him. Always living on others expectations. I don’t think I can do this any more. I crushed what ever I felt, what ever I had so that he would not be hurt. But there is only that much you can crush down. And now he is with some one and I should be happy, but I am sad, not that he not with me, but the fact that he cannot look into my face. He can’t even bare being alone with me. We don’t talk and now even the simple hello is so strained!”
Body
“The emptiness is enveloping me. I feel hollow; this vacuum has been created within. Breathing is difficult and controlling the tears even more.”
Wax and more!
Before anonymous, told me her story she knew I would love to blog about it. Oh how right she was!
I warn the male specimens who are reading this, you probably want to stop now, since I can guarantee you will be grossed out by the explicit details of a
Wait for it!
A Bikini Wax!
Trust me boys not the sexiest thing to have done to your self, but the after effects, well are so desirable aren’t they J
Its amazing the amount of pain which a woman puts her self through!
Pouring hot wax on ones ‘delicates’ (as A puts it) and then ripping out the hair, seriously girls what are we thinking!
The pain is excruciating, the situation is medley put quite odd and the fact that wax is dripping all around – uumm yeah not really the best thing to be discussing on a public forum!
I asked A how bad the pain was – she said well now I know what you went thru when you got a tattoo – ouch!
The funny part was that half way thrugh this painful and very weird experience she busrt out laughting.
“Shreez I was in so much pain that’s the only dam thing I could do” says A
Any way I guess its some thing every girl needs to go thru. I hope the men appreciate it!
Just too end off, I was reading an article in the Cosmo some time back about bikini waxes and the ladies who do it were dishing out all the dirt and one beautician said that a chick got turned on while getting one done and she (the beautician) had to hand her a couple of tissues and leave the room for a bit!
Talk about embarrassing. See now that’s one job I do not want ~ ever!
Talking about things one reads in the Cosmo – one issue had an article on sex related ER antidotes.
For example – a woman thought it would be funny to stuff a tennis ball up her man’s rear end. Long story cut short, it got stuck and needed to be removed surgically. While waiting in the ER for the surgeon, the guy started coughing real bad and out popped the ball, bouncing off the wall and hit the surgeon in the face.
You know one should feel sorry for the poor guy, but that is hilarious!
Yesh this is quite a random blog post, but have been pestered by many to get back to writing, so hopefully this shall be the start of many more to come!
I warn the male specimens who are reading this, you probably want to stop now, since I can guarantee you will be grossed out by the explicit details of a
Wait for it!
A Bikini Wax!
Trust me boys not the sexiest thing to have done to your self, but the after effects, well are so desirable aren’t they J
Its amazing the amount of pain which a woman puts her self through!
Pouring hot wax on ones ‘delicates’ (as A puts it) and then ripping out the hair, seriously girls what are we thinking!
The pain is excruciating, the situation is medley put quite odd and the fact that wax is dripping all around – uumm yeah not really the best thing to be discussing on a public forum!
I asked A how bad the pain was – she said well now I know what you went thru when you got a tattoo – ouch!
The funny part was that half way thrugh this painful and very weird experience she busrt out laughting.
“Shreez I was in so much pain that’s the only dam thing I could do” says A
Any way I guess its some thing every girl needs to go thru. I hope the men appreciate it!
Just too end off, I was reading an article in the Cosmo some time back about bikini waxes and the ladies who do it were dishing out all the dirt and one beautician said that a chick got turned on while getting one done and she (the beautician) had to hand her a couple of tissues and leave the room for a bit!
Talk about embarrassing. See now that’s one job I do not want ~ ever!
Talking about things one reads in the Cosmo – one issue had an article on sex related ER antidotes.
For example – a woman thought it would be funny to stuff a tennis ball up her man’s rear end. Long story cut short, it got stuck and needed to be removed surgically. While waiting in the ER for the surgeon, the guy started coughing real bad and out popped the ball, bouncing off the wall and hit the surgeon in the face.
You know one should feel sorry for the poor guy, but that is hilarious!
Yesh this is quite a random blog post, but have been pestered by many to get back to writing, so hopefully this shall be the start of many more to come!
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