Scorpian woman

"Consider anything only don't cry . . ."
The female Scorpio has a deep, mysterious beauty. She's magnetic, proud and totally confident. But she has one secret regret. She was not born a man.

I can almost feel the heat from here when Pluto women hear about that revelation. There's not a Scorpio female alive who doesn't think she's all woman, and you may wonder what I'm talking about yourself, if you're in love with one. This girl certainly has enough glamour, and she's enormously seductive. But I didn't say she looked like a boy, nor did I intend to imply she doesn't do a bang-up job of being a female. It's just that, unconsciously, she would prefer to be a man. Less restriction-more oppor­tunity. It's the one secret she even hides from herself, and seeing it exposed won't sit well with her.

Once the Scorpio girl has figured out the difference be­tween blue booties and pink booties, she'll resign herself to wearing the pink ones, because she's fabulous at mak­ing the best out of a situation. But pink is not her natural color. The true shade of her nature is dark maroon, or deep wine-red, not a female color at all. However, to give her proper tribute, she's able to make you think it is. I know one who's great at pretending to be a fragile, fluffy kitten. She purrs so contentedly most men guess she's an ultra-feminine Piscean. They topple into her trap and wake up later, sadder but wiser. She is no kitten.

Scorpio women have a scornful contempt for members of their sex who flop in the roles of sweetheart, wife and mother, once they're stuck with the parts. A Pluto girl will control her desire to dominate, while she gives a glorious performance of womanhood, and she'll do it with more finess than the masculine Aries, Leo or Sagittarius girl. At least she'll do it during courtship. There may be a few cases when the unsuspecting male gets a rude sur­prise after he shakes the rice out of his shoes and the illusions out of his eyes. Unlike the Mars female, for example, a Scorpio will subdue her drive and magnetize a man with the heavy perfume of her exotic glance as she allows him to use his lighter to ignite her cigarette. That's far sexier than aggressively striking a match herself and blowing the smoke in his face, and she knows it. She knows lots more. Another girl might rush headlong into your arms and shout her love from the rooftops. The Scorpio girl walks toward you slowly, seductively, and silently delivers her private message. It's puzzling, but these women can look seductive in jeans, jodhpurs or basketball shoes. Maybe it's her husky voice that creates the image. I know one who wore a baseball cap (honest) the entire time her future husband was courting her, and she spent a lot of time talking about batting averages. But she was as seductive as Mata Hari just the same, and she got her man. (He was hypnotized, as usual.)

You can give her a tumble, but she won't fall all over herself reacting to your overtures. Don't expect her to bat long, sweeping eyelashes at you, and adore you with blind devotion. Lots of female Scorpios are tomboys with stubby eyelashes. Besides, with those beautiful, mysterious eyes that can read your mind so clearly, she doesn't need any extra trimming. Whisper something romantic that would melt another girl out of her senses, and the Scorpio girl will simply give you an intense, penetrating look that will see right straight through to your real intentions. She's a human X-ray machine, so don't flirt. Unless you mean business, you're wasting her time and insulting her. I wouldn't advise you to insult a Scorpio. It's just not healthy. If you don't know what I mean, ask someone who has. He may have some stories to tell that will curl your hair.

I'm well aware that this dangerous femme fatale can hide her power of retaliation with a tremulous smile, gentle mannerisms, and the most breathless voice this side of an angel. But astrologers are expected to be up on these things. It's more important for you to be well aware. After all, you're the one who's seeking to tame her-or protect your­self against her-whichever. Probably both.

You can be sure that heaven certainly has no fury like that of a Scorpio woman who's lost her normal steady control over those inward, seething, Pluto emotions. She can be overbearing and domineering, sarcastic and frigid- then turn as hot as an oven at 500 degrees Fahrenheit. She can hate with bitter venom and love with fierce abandon. She can shriek like a furious banshee or whisper like an affectionate turtle dove. One thing you can be sure of- she's never wishy-washy.

The Scorpio woman has a disconcerting gift that can make icy shivers run up your spine. It's a peculiar form of black magic, and she weaves it so expertly it can seem like real witchcraft. You have very little chance to escape, once her eyes meet yours. Because of her mystical sixth sense, she can often recognize a future mate at first glance, and somehow, she'll transfer this perception instantly. You'll have one of two reactions. You'll be hopelessly caught in her spell, and down you'll go, in a dizzy spin toward surrender, or you'll be scared right out of your socks, and feel like running for help. What's your rush? Stay around awhile. You might find out what life is all about. She knows. And she'll teach you. Anyway, you should be flattered that she considers you worth that strange gaze. A Scorpio woman can't excuse weakness in a man. She looks for ambition and courage. She wants a mate who can dominate her and make her proud, without disturbing her secret individuality. He's expected to be strong, masculine and better-looking than average. A high degree of intelligence is required to match her own excellent mind, plus more than a passing acquaintance with abstract, philosophical wisdom. So put your socks back on and practice a superior smirk. Everybody you know will think you're pretty super to have her staring at you. The men and women both. It could open new vistas, when you think about it. Your personal stock should zoom several points higher than it was before she noticed you.

Having once achieved closeness with a female Scorpio, you can be positive you're a unique and unusual man. You can also be sure that her love for you is unmatched by any you'll ever experience-and you can take that in sev­eral ways. You'll be the most important interest in her life. If she's a typical Pluto girl, she'll boost you loyally, and try to please you with passionate intensity. If you're too hard to please, she'll show her frustration with pas­sionate attempts to conquer your disinterest.

The word "passionate" probably caught your eye. Most men have heard exciting rumors about the passion of November females. It's true. She's brimming over inside with passion, though it's kept under rigid control by a poised, frosty attitude toward strangers, and a surface smoothness suggestive of black velvet. But the male sex is too inclined to relate passion strictly to romantic action; and that's selling her short, because Pluto's definition of the word is far more encompassing. It's involved with her feelings about everything she touches. She's never just slightly interested. It's impossible for her to be detached or casual. She seldom likes or dislikes a play, a book, re­ligion, furniture or people. She either bitterly resents or she intensely worships. If one of these two passions can't be aroused, then she totally ignores, with ice around the edges. Yet, through it all, she'll remain essentially un­touched by emotional storms, judging at least from her placid exterior, which always drapes itself around her after each minor or major nuclear explosion. It may be difficult to convince your mother-in-law that her daughter really broke all those dishes and tore all those draperies to shreds after the fury has subsided and her black velvet poise has returned. People may look at you as if you're a character assassinator. What do you mean? Shame on you, accusing that cool, controlled, lovely girl of such a temper. You have my sympathy, if that's any help.

She has such fabulous virtues, you might know her vices wouldn't be skimpy, either. So think about her good points. All right, then, think about her good points after that lump on your head has healed.
Because she's drawn to investigation of the shadows, she may at first seem to be tempting, forbidden fruit, and the deep, strange expression in her eyes intensifies the impres­sion. It's true that the Scorpio girl sometimes wanders into dangerous waters in her efforts to penetrate life, and since there's not the slightest trace of fear in her (unless she has an affliction to her Moon, and is full of nameless terrors), her search may indeed take her into some weird byways. But the typical Scorpio will emerge from any discovery still strong and pure. If she allows the journey to soil her inner spirit, Pluto will punish her with anguished remorse and guilt; yet she can still call on her great strength of character to rise again, like the phoenix, from the ashes of her experiments. In Kahlil Gibran's writings, the Prophet replies, in answer to a question about Evil, "Of the Good in you I can speak, but not of the Evil. For what is Evil but Good-tortured by its own hunger and thirst? When Good is hungry, it seeks food, even in dark caves, and when it thirsts, it drinks even of dead waters." A perfect description of Scorpio.

She may have been a fascinated spectator to a million human foibles, and she may have tasted a variety of ex­periences to savor the knowledge. But she can mysteriously emerge from all her explorations above suspicion, and still superior to almost every other woman you know. She could be the keeper of quite a few secrets. It's surprising how many dark deeds are confessed to Scorpios, though their own inner lives are marked: "Private-Keep Out." She likes to hear secrets, but she'll seldom tell anything any­one has confided in her, not even to you (unless there's an afflicted Mercury in her natal chart). You can also expect her to have a stack of secrets that relate to her personally, and don't try to pry them out of her. There's a private part to this woman you'll never touch, a part of her mind and soul that belongs strictly to her, and there's absolutely no trespassing there. She's not untruthful, in fact she's more oftien too brutally honest, yet there will always be those special thoughts and feelings she won't confide to you or anyone else.

A Scorpio woman will be incredibly loyal to those she finds strong and deserving, but the weak ones will never be honored by her glance. Her dignity in human relation­ships can make her seem aloof and snobbish. In a way, she definitely is, because she practices a personal caste system, and it's more clearly marked than that of her Leo and Capricorn sisters. All Scorpios are highly selective in friendships. They'll keep the worthy companions through an entire lifetime, and freeze the shallow, the common or the unworthy. There's an immense store of perseverance and determination buried in the nature of a Scorpio woman, and any time she chooses, she can call on these to help her master the excesses which may tempt her, from drink and drugs to self-destructive, ruthless revenge and dangerous depression. Sooner or later, she'll probably investigate some form of the occult, and ancient mysteries and unseen worlds will eventually have her respect, though Scorpios can range all the way from religious fervor to total atheism during a lifetime.

A Scorpio woman need not be a legal wife to give wifely love and devotion. If circumstances beyond your control make marriage impossible, she'll love you from hell to breakfast, and not give a hang what the neighbors think. In most such unusual situations, the relationship is real and honest above and beyond the shallow, selfish love of many a legitimate marriage. The hypocrisies of society will never keep this courageous woman from seeking the sun. She answers to no law but her own, and in her Pluto heart, she has more total understanding of the vow "till death do us part" than half the brides who blissfully murmur the phrase.

Despite her own strong individualism, the typical Scorpio girl will let her man be the boss. Instead of overshadowing him with her force and drive, she'll apply her talents to help him attain his goals. Your future will be important to her, and she's not likely to insist on retaining her own career after marriage (unless you've disappointed her deeply or a second job is needed in a temporary domestic crisis). She may fight you wildly in private, but she'll defend you fiercely in public. She won't stand for anyone maligning you or taking advantage of you. Those who try will feel the lash of her righteous anger. Your happiness will always come first. Unless there are adverse aspects to her Sun sign or ascendant in her natal chart, she'll pa­tiently help you persevere until you get what you want, and while you're getting it, she won't whine or complain or become restless, though she might turn a little bitter if you lose your courage on the way. She'll expect you to aim as high as your abilities will reach. Anything less may bring on some pretty sarcastic taunts and reproaches, especially if she has an afflicted Mercury.

Scorpio women love their homes, which usually shine with cleanliness, taste and comfort. Meals are served on time, and things are generally under control. If the opposite is true, something is making her mighty unhappy, because her natural inclination is to beauty and system. To the typical Scorpio woman spring cleaning is like vacation. They love to dig into comers to see what they can find. Just be careful she doesn't find any cryptic notes that smell of perfume in your old jacket pockets when she's clearing out the closets. Scorpio is unreasonably suspicious, even when there's no basis for suspicion, so you can imagine what happens when she finds a real clue to possible in­fidelity. Picture the shape of a mushroom cloud and you'll get a general idea of what may happen, figuratively speak­ing. It's no good being suspicious of her, no matter how many opportunities arise; and there will be a goodly num­ber of them, because she never exposes her deepest feel­ings. Naturally, this can arouse a few questions on your part.

Just swallow them, along with the lump in your throat. Like that locked chest or drawer she's had since childhood, certain things about her are off limits. It will get you nowhere to probe. I realize fully that it isn't fair. So does she. But that doesn't change things a bit. That's the way it is. Take her or leave her. You'll probably take her. It's almost impossible to leave her. If nothing else, she'll haunt you the rest of your life. Adjusting to the idiosyncrasies of her nature is easier than suffering the nightmares that will surely result if you walk away. No one walks away from a Scorpio. Not really. Didn't you know that? Those who have tried can educate you. Any­way, you have a very special woman.

As much as she needs the security of home roots, shell move if it's necessary to your career, and without any visible flinching at the uprooting. She makes an excellent wife for an army or navy man and a real jewel for a politician. There's no one she can't see through, no de­ception that escapes her. A Scorpio woman can tell you exactly who can be trusted and which ones you have to watch. The Pisces wife has the same ability, but she may be too soft to criticize, too ready to make excuses for the failings of others. Not so the Scorpio female. In fact, she may frequently have to check her sharp tongue and tone down her brutal analysis.
In the budget department, Scorpio women are complete­ly unpredictable. She can scrimp and save and pinch a penny until it bends double, then have a sudden spell of being magnificently extravagant. One thing is sure. She'll enjoy money, whether she saves it in an old shoe or spends it on luxury. But this woman always leans heavily toward prestige, and she won't let cash compromise that. She'll be satisfied if you choose a smaller income, as long as it insures that you are your own boss, with the potential to rise to become somebody of influence, Scorpio females like power, and they will sacrifice much for it. Your power will do, because Pluto allows her to be adept at living vicarious­ly through others when it suits her. Remember that al­though she'll sacrifice and put up with very little for a planned goal, she's too proud to live amid shabby sur­roundings forever, and she'll become mighty sour and dis­contented if she's forced to do so for an unreasonable length of time. She'll either try to force a change in the family fortunes after a certain period, or she'll gradually retreat into the dismal world of the gray lizard, outwardly accepting and almost seeming to enjoy poverty, but in­wardly intensely bitter.

She'll be possessive but she won't want to be possessed. One of the worst traits of both male and female Scorpios is a refusal to see any viewpoint but their own when the emotions are involved. It takes weeks of introspection to bring them around to a semblance of humility. Her natural interest in the opposite sex, even if it remains platonic, may give you as much reason to be jealous of her as she is of you. She'll probably fascinate every male in sight on oc­casion, and you may have to sit by while they're mesmer­ized. It seldom leads to anything serious, but it can cause some uncomfortable moments. It can also lead to some explosive disagreements. In the heat of battle, it pays to remember that her compulsion to even the score usually makes her the winner in any kind of skirmish. She gets the last word. If you tell her a lie, she may tell two. If you stubbornly refuse to kiss her good-bye in the morning after a tiff, she may refuse to kiss you goodnight for a month. Just let your mother (or anybody's mother) criti­cize her cooking, and the Scorpio woman may forget to invite her to dinner for several Sundays in a row. An acci­dental injury, however, she'll forgive, if she knows it's unintentional. The Scorpio sense of justice is as strong as the sense of revenge. Most people forget this. She'll remember every kindness and give you back double for that, too. It works both ways.

With the children, her expression of love may lack a cer­tain tenderness and open demonstration, but the youngsters will probably sense her deep devotion and feel emotionally secure anyway. A Scorpio mother won't let the talents of her children go unnoticed or gather dust. She'll spend many an hour encouraging them toward higher goals, and be willing to provide any support they need. Her offspring will find her strong and helpful when youthful problems arise, because her knowledge of human nature makes her a wise counselor. She'll teach them to meet difficulties with her own courage. But she can be bund to their faults, an attitude which can naturally cause a lot of trouble if it isn't recognized and checked in time. Anyone she imagines is a threat to the happiness of her children, in any way, however small, will be crushed, and I'm afraid that in­cludes her husband. She won't appreciate it if he's stricter with them than she thinks he ought to be.

A Scorpio woman will sometimes nearly drown you in her passion for living, yet in a real storm, her cool, calm reason and steely strength will be a life raft. Though she works her magic in strange and secret ways, her haunting eyes will always gaze at you with basic honesty, even while she remains just beyond the reach of human under­standing. She's a little dangerous, perhaps, but undeniably exciting. Let other husbands cope with the flighty girls. You've known the compelling mystery of a lovely witch who brews a pretty good cup of tea and never bums your toast. (Well, almost never.) When the cup is empty, let her read the tea leaves for you. She can-if she wants to.
You mean you didn't know? I told you there are things she keeps to herself....
　

Home Sweet Home

Finally! It took me longer to get back the pictures of my house than it took me to decorate the whole thing :)
From never having my own room, to getting my own house, talk about being lucky.
Not trying to boast or any thing, but the highlights of my house
1. It has a fire place (and even better I know how to get the fire started)
2. I finally have my pink bedroom along with my pink bathroom !
3. TV, Fridge, Micro wave, Oven and DVD player (what more cud a girl want)

Getting older and maybe a bit wiser

Aaaarrrgggg ! Just realized some thing, I'm getting old. Well I'm not old, but people are perciving me as old! And when I say people I mean the kids at Kodai. See see I am becoming an old aunty I am calling kids - KIDS !!

Next I'll be commenting on thier behaviour and how the older generation was much better. Some one stop me before I convert. Help me!

Being in Kodai is real eye opener for me. Man was I such a brat when I was 16?
These kids (theres the word again) think I am ancient. They have the audacity to ask me if I know some one called 50 cent (who me, know who ? 50 cents isnt that half a dollar)

Jeez give me a break. But yeah I am 5 to 6 years older to them, I am ancient in thier eyes. I guess thats wat growing up is all about, with great wisdom comes increased perceptions of being old !

Read Dhruv's blog entry as well, know that feeling really well http://chitgo.nomadlife.org/

Sunday 22 Oct 2006

I was asked to give my testimony in church on sunday. They asked me since I am just starting my journey - search for Christ.
This topic was very close to my heart and made it even more difficult. I have not problem talking in public but just standing up in church and telling people what I was going thru was scary. But it went well

Today’s theme is “Searching for Christ” and I am just starting my journey. My journey started in January when I came here. It’s weird, because I have been a Christian my whole life, but what did I really know about Christianity? Studied at a convent school for 6 years and I never made an effort to really understand Christianity!
And I come here and begin to interact with people who's faith is so strong, who thank the Lord for every thing they get, every happiness they receive and in the hard times of suffering they lean on him and he gives them the strength to go on.

I used to look at them in wonder. I wished I could be like that, just having a sense of knowing about their faith and then I began to talking to people about religion. It was some thing very new for me. I’ve never had a conversation with any of my friends or family about religion per se apart from explaining the significance of Easter or some thing like that.

And I guess that’s how my journey began. Talking to people. When I began to think of what to say today, questions popped into my head. Why now, what made this different. What made me want to understand God and his role in my life? And then I read 1 Peter 3:15

“Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have”

And that was what it was. The look in people’s eyes when they spoke about Jesus. Their faith made me want to develop my own.

Before I began talking about the Lord, I always thought that being religious meant you could not have any fun. Because that’s what I was bought up to believe. And that myth was completely shattered when I began to open my eyes over here and discovered people just like me, with the same interests but who had a strong and personal relationship with God

I knew I wanted a personal relationship with the Lord, but he wanted me to work towards it as well. I can’t just say that I want my faith to develop and then not do any thing about it.

I dint even own a bible until I came here. And then some one very close to me gave me one on a day I really needed it. It was April 21 was when I got my first bible. I wish I could say that I have been reading it every day. But there are days that go by when I haven’t read the bible. Those are usually not always the best.

And there are days when I get up and I am happy to be alive. I wake up knowing that I am here because God wants me to be here. The sun is shining and the trees are in bloom and I know God loves me. And the fact that he loves me unconditionally and forever overwhelms me.

And that’s when the human in me takes over and decides that I can handle every thing by my self. And I try to deal with all my issues on my own and then things start piling up and I can’t deal with them any more.

And I turn towards God again for help.

That’s the struggle I face. Taking steps forward then falling and then finding the strength to get up and take those same steps forward again.

For most of you’ll here, going back home invokes a sense of happiness and excitement. For me, although I was happy to go back home – I was also scared and apprehensive.
I have made a lot of mistakes in the 3 years I was in college and I hurt my parents many times.
Would my family see me for the person I am today or would they still see me as the person who made all those mistakes in 2005

Would I have the courage to talk to them about what I really felt or would bottle it all up inside?

While I was in the train going back to Delhi, I was a nervous wreck. I knew I could not this myself I asked Jesus to give me the strength to deal with the situation how ever it turned out. To give me the patience, courage and whatever else I needed to go through the month ahead

And he did! It was almost an instant physical reaction. My stomach unclenched, my nerves calmed down. And I just knew that every thing would be alright.

Talking to my friends about my journey was difficult for me. Two of my close friends are Hindu’s and I dint know how they would react to me talking to them about Christ. But they were supportive and wanted to know more.

When friends call me for advice the only thing I can do is advice. But this time when a friend needed advise and some consoling I decided to pray with her. And there was this sense of calm between us and I think strengthened between us.

I then understood why – why I saw the look of faith in people’s eyes – students or staff when they spoke about Jesus. All I did was ask him for help. A simple prayer from the heart and he granted it instantly.
This is what made me believe.

Students were shocked when I said I was staying on in Kodai and even more shocked when I said I loved it here. But it’s true. I go to bed every night content. And I know that it’s not only because I love what I do or that I have family and friends here. But it’s my exposure to the Lord, the beginning of my journey and the development of my faith.

I would like to end with a reading from the bible. This was one of the first verses which really touched me.

Colossians 1 17
“He is before all things, an in him all things hold together. And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the first born among the dead so that in every thing he might have the supremacy”

It says that if Jesus is number 1 in our life every thing else will fall into place. I believe in that and I am an example of it.

Row row row your boat

Row row row your boat

Gently down the stream

Merrily Merrily Merrily Merrily

Life is but a dream

We went boating yeasterday, I actually got the boat to move. Major achievement since the last time we went out, I just did the opposite of what you're suppose to do. Pulling when I am suppose to be pushing and pushing when I am supposed to be pulling :)

It was a lovely day to go boating and looked like alot of other people had the same thought as well. It was bumper boats for a while. Coming back to rowing, all the girls had a try (Cuz, B and myself) and if I say so my self we were good.

Was able to maneuver the boat back in to the boat house, the canal which goes right into the boat house!

Accident quotient: no accidents (yippe me), well had a near miss when S almost wacked a few people in another boat with the oar.