Emotions have been running pretty wild this past week and in the midst of down right depression I have had fleeting moments of happiness.
Been doing a lot of soul searching lately
Old fears creeping back into my mind
Learning about my self,
Things I can do and things which leave me a crumpled mess on the floor
I have learnt
That there is an ugliness inside of me
That I can be spiteful
Hidden in the darkness - usually content to be there
But once in a while breaking out
Shocking me
Scaring me
Some thing I need to work on
To remove the anger and the hatred
To remove those thoughts that run through my head
The ones which make me says things which I wish I never did
Words which shatter relationships
I also encountered one of my weaknesses
Some thing which had held on to me for over two months
Not willing to admit it and not willing to ask for help
It was easy to zone out that to actually deal with the situations
But I also learnt that I have friends who look out for me
Who look past the smile plastered on my face
And tell me “We need to talk”
I’ve learnt you need to put aside pride and ask for help
I’ve been happy
Sad
Frustrated
Hurt
Lonely
Homesick
Loved
