Sunday 22 Oct 2006

I was asked to give my testimony in church on sunday. They asked me since I am just starting my journey - search for Christ.
This topic was very close to my heart and made it even more difficult. I have not problem talking in public but just standing up in church and telling people what I was going thru was scary. But it went well

Today’s theme is “Searching for Christ” and I am just starting my journey. My journey started in January when I came here. It’s weird, because I have been a Christian my whole life, but what did I really know about Christianity? Studied at a convent school for 6 years and I never made an effort to really understand Christianity!
And I come here and begin to interact with people who's faith is so strong, who thank the Lord for every thing they get, every happiness they receive and in the hard times of suffering they lean on him and he gives them the strength to go on.

I used to look at them in wonder. I wished I could be like that, just having a sense of knowing about their faith and then I began to talking to people about religion. It was some thing very new for me. I’ve never had a conversation with any of my friends or family about religion per se apart from explaining the significance of Easter or some thing like that.

And I guess that’s how my journey began. Talking to people. When I began to think of what to say today, questions popped into my head. Why now, what made this different. What made me want to understand God and his role in my life? And then I read 1 Peter 3:15

“Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have”

And that was what it was. The look in people’s eyes when they spoke about Jesus. Their faith made me want to develop my own.

Before I began talking about the Lord, I always thought that being religious meant you could not have any fun. Because that’s what I was bought up to believe. And that myth was completely shattered when I began to open my eyes over here and discovered people just like me, with the same interests but who had a strong and personal relationship with God

I knew I wanted a personal relationship with the Lord, but he wanted me to work towards it as well. I can’t just say that I want my faith to develop and then not do any thing about it.

I dint even own a bible until I came here. And then some one very close to me gave me one on a day I really needed it. It was April 21 was when I got my first bible. I wish I could say that I have been reading it every day. But there are days that go by when I haven’t read the bible. Those are usually not always the best.

And there are days when I get up and I am happy to be alive. I wake up knowing that I am here because God wants me to be here. The sun is shining and the trees are in bloom and I know God loves me. And the fact that he loves me unconditionally and forever overwhelms me.

And that’s when the human in me takes over and decides that I can handle every thing by my self. And I try to deal with all my issues on my own and then things start piling up and I can’t deal with them any more.

And I turn towards God again for help.

That’s the struggle I face. Taking steps forward then falling and then finding the strength to get up and take those same steps forward again.

For most of you’ll here, going back home invokes a sense of happiness and excitement. For me, although I was happy to go back home – I was also scared and apprehensive.
I have made a lot of mistakes in the 3 years I was in college and I hurt my parents many times.
Would my family see me for the person I am today or would they still see me as the person who made all those mistakes in 2005

Would I have the courage to talk to them about what I really felt or would bottle it all up inside?

While I was in the train going back to Delhi, I was a nervous wreck. I knew I could not this myself I asked Jesus to give me the strength to deal with the situation how ever it turned out. To give me the patience, courage and whatever else I needed to go through the month ahead

And he did! It was almost an instant physical reaction. My stomach unclenched, my nerves calmed down. And I just knew that every thing would be alright.

Talking to my friends about my journey was difficult for me. Two of my close friends are Hindu’s and I dint know how they would react to me talking to them about Christ. But they were supportive and wanted to know more.

When friends call me for advice the only thing I can do is advice. But this time when a friend needed advise and some consoling I decided to pray with her. And there was this sense of calm between us and I think strengthened between us.

I then understood why – why I saw the look of faith in people’s eyes – students or staff when they spoke about Jesus. All I did was ask him for help. A simple prayer from the heart and he granted it instantly.
This is what made me believe.

Students were shocked when I said I was staying on in Kodai and even more shocked when I said I loved it here. But it’s true. I go to bed every night content. And I know that it’s not only because I love what I do or that I have family and friends here. But it’s my exposure to the Lord, the beginning of my journey and the development of my faith.

I would like to end with a reading from the bible. This was one of the first verses which really touched me.

Colossians 1 17
“He is before all things, an in him all things hold together. And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the first born among the dead so that in every thing he might have the supremacy”

It says that if Jesus is number 1 in our life every thing else will fall into place. I believe in that and I am an example of it.