Passing thoughts.

I just watched a show on national geographic - hostage abroad. They focused on the 1994 kidnapping of 3 british tourists along with 1 american tourist - in return for the release of 10 Kashmiri militants.

I was 10 when this happened, but hearing about it today, evoked a strong emotional reaction. To imagine the terror what these tourists when too. I have friends around the world, friends like these tourists who see India as a top choice for the backpacking traveller.

That mystical place called India.

These tourists were kept prisioners for 32 days. Befriended by an 'indian' but actually Omar Saeed Sheikh, they were invited to visit a typical indian village but instead were kept hostage for a month.

The ol indian hospitality, turned on its head.



Watching this show, I sat back and saw a bit of my friends in those 4 travellers. Wanting to experience something. Trusting people. It scared me. What if that was W, M, A, V, K or someone else.



I went on to do some more research on this, and found out that the hijakking in 1999 of the indian airlines flight was so that the militants could free Omar Saeed Sheikh in turn for the 180 passangers. He then went on to behead Daniel Pearl (American journalist, beheaded in Pakistan - 2002) He is currently in jail awaiting a death sentence. Will it happen. I highly doubt it.



Why am I writing about this? I honestly dont know. On one hand its a warning to the travellers coming to experience 'india' . With the amount of radical fanatics out there, the possibility of this happening again it high.



I watched the final video of Daniel Pearl. What causes one human being to torture and kill another. To have the blood of another man on oneself. I have never seen a gun in real life. Violence like this does not touch my life. Though there is no guarantee that it will remain that way. Every day we live with the hope that nothing will happen.

That the malls we walk in, wont be blown away
That the airports we go through, wont be blown away
That the flights we take wont be flown into buildings
That the person who walks into a busy building wont take out a gun and shot anything in sight.


Do we really have any guarantees in this world?

1 May 2009

Its May 1 2009!
I have 20 days till the semester comes to an end
23 days till closing staff meeting
23 days and my time in Kodai comes to an end
I am an emotional wreck! Everything connected to leaving, leaves me in tears. I went to the travel office today to discuss my shipment allowance etc, even talking about something as mundane – left me crying
I had the dorm parent along with some girls come and look at my apartment, since it’s going to be part of the dorm next semester. It broke my heart. I honestly don’t know how I am going to do this.
To go down the mountain and know that I wont be coming back up in a month.

The motions of thy emotions

Emotions have been running pretty wild this past week and in the midst of down right depression I have had fleeting moments of happiness.

Been doing a lot of soul searching lately
Old fears creeping back into my mind
Learning about my self,
Things I can do and things which leave me a crumpled mess on the floor
I have learnt
That there is an ugliness inside of me
That I can be spiteful
Hidden in the darkness - usually content to be there
But once in a while breaking out
Shocking me
Scaring me
Some thing I need to work on
To remove the anger and the hatred
To remove those thoughts that run through my head
The ones which make me says things which I wish I never did
Words which shatter relationships
I also encountered one of my weaknesses
Some thing which had held on to me for over two months
Not willing to admit it and not willing to ask for help
It was easy to zone out that to actually deal with the situations
But I also learnt that I have friends who look out for me
Who look past the smile plastered on my face
And tell me “We need to talk”
I’ve learnt you need to put aside pride and ask for help
I’ve been happy
Sad
Frustrated
Hurt
Lonely
Homesick
Loved

The day I held a snake!

Ok, so every one pretty much knows how scared I am of snakes! I dont mind watching them on TV or even seeing them in a zoo. But the moment it is just roaming around in front of me I absolutely freak out.
I hyper ventilate, my heart races and tears instantly appear.
Yesterday Little One (LO) and wiggles went on a major lizard / snake hunt and they found a Bombay earth snake. Who ever said you dont have snakes in Kodai was obviously lying.

So when the found it and kept it in a box I was on pins and needles and if any one got it near me I jumped onto a chair. Dreads, Hoops, Wiggles and even LO were like its a harmless snake and almost like a big earth worm and I should hold it and get over my fear.

Today after dinner, the kids from Hoops dorm came into to see the snake and I decided it was time to get over this fear. I stuck my hand out and held on to hoops shoulder while wiggles gently lowered the snake (named bob) onto my hand. (note: the picture is not of me holding the snake but it is Bob)

I kept my eyes averted and tried slowing down my intense breathing (with no avail) while bob laid camly on my hand. He remained there for a few seconds.

But I DID IT!
I touched a snake.
Maybe I will get over this fear.
I am so proud :)