flowing emotions

Time goes by so slowly
And time can do so much

Words from unchained melody (really nice song I must add) Not that the lyrics have much to do with the post today. I was thinking about how fast time flies. We are in March already – it seems like yesterday that I was sitting with IG, Papa Ramero, P Diddy and Blondie at TGIF. But now we are all back into our corners of the world and reality is back in my face.

Last Thursday this time I was pretty depressed. Actually bawling my eyes out and gasping for breath would be a more apt description. The week has gone by. Gone by quickly and slowly at the same time. Does that make sense?

The days have gone by quick, I guess that’s thanks to the running around and organizing I’ve been doing for the event on Saturday but the thinking / pondering / analyzing / contemplating I have been doing has made the week seem like a month.

Talking to P Diddy this morning I came up with another insight. Been doing a lot of that lately.
I don’t care a DAM what you think
I don’t care whether you like or hate me
I don’t care if you think I am the cause for every single thing going wrong
I don’t care if you think I am not good enough

You know why?
Because it’s your thoughts! Your view, your ideas, your issue!!

And I’ve stopped caring. I have stopped being scared. Stopped fearing some thing which is not true. You tried – you tried to break me, you convinced me I was no good.
Hell you convinced me that if any thing happened to ‘A’ it would be my fault.
That if death were to come knocking on the door – he would be thanking me for the referral!

You know what you almost got away with it. You pushed me, criticized me, belittled me till I looked at my self and felt disgusted. I was never good enough for any thing – never strong enough for any thing!

But today I stand up, because honestly you’re full of shit and you know it!

So you can push me all you like
Try to do what ever makes you feel happy
But I am going to stand my ground
I might have tears running down my face, my voice might me trembling but I am NOT standing down